I recently got rid of this burden that has always been on my back and making me feel pressured lately. I have always felt pressured to be the one to start a conversation or keep the conversation going because I hate awkward silences or awkward moments, they just make me feel so…awkward. I think the reason why I felt this kind of pressure to strategize when talking to someone is because I’m usually a planner with certain things. I am actually a pretty spontaneous person but with conversations I have to strategize every single thing I say, for example: I think of what I am going to say and then I imagine what the other person will say after what I just said. Then I plan another response that will probably start a new topic that we could talk about and it just gets more and more complicated.
I went and talked to my madre about this weird pressure I have been feeling for quite a while and she was all like, “Woah, that sounds pretty complicated, you just need to chill and let the conversation flow by itself. You know the whole conversation doesn’t depend on you, the other person you’re talking to is probably feeling just as awkward as you are. The conversation feels way more relaxing if you just don’t think about it too much and just talk!”
After my “senpai” said that (heh..hehh), I felt way better. Now I feel way more “chillaxed” conversing with humans. Even if there is an awkward silence or there is nothing to talk about, well..that sucks, then you can tell all your friends about your awkward silence and it will be a funny story 😀 .
Daniel's Life 